Going travel after divorce could be completely crucial in bringing back hope, normalcy, enthusiasm and inspiration into life. Post-divorce depression is nearly inevitable due to the nature of such drastic change.
Before we look at the ways traveling can help to overcome divorce pain, it is helpful to understand why divorce is psychologically painful.
Why Breaking Up Relationship Feels Painful.
It is good to look at what brings two people together and what forms a relationship. In general it is a vision and or dream of life where another person is largely included.
It doesn’t matter how long this relationship lasted, it is certain that there was a common sphere where two people consistently invested energy through imagination and action. There were dreams and expectation of some expanded future.
Relationship gradually formed when a person on an opposite side of a relationship slowly grew to occupy more of your inner dream space.
Overtime you built an interpersonal energetic structure together. Thoughts about this person were included as a natural element of psychological scape.
Overtime having been included this person in your daily acts, projects, dreams and fantasies became a habit. To a degree, overtime these two people in the relationship “became one”.
Researchers from Garrison Institute of Contemplative Studies of New York did a brain study of people in long-term relationships and they found that a sense of the “other” - a relationship partner, overtime gets hard-wired into the brain of a relationship partner through the process of neuro-placticity.
How does the brain make representations of self and other? Jim Coan, who was in Garrison for the recent The Mind and Life Institute Summer Research Institute, explores in this short video.Posted by Garrison Institute on Friday, June 26, 2015
From this perspective it is clear to understand how severing this network sense of “the other” built up during marriage could easily cause post-divorce pain and depression.
Feelings of hurt and abandonment could easily surface and take a central stage of a daily experience. It is important to acknowledge these feelings and process them on one hand, on another hand it is even more vital to begin bringing the focus from “the other” onto yourself.
A Need For A Special Emotional Quality.
After all you need to build your life back on a foundation of authentic sense of self-worth and autonomy.
There’s a need to engage the ability to overcome pain of divorce through increase in capacity of emotional trait of resilience.
Resilience is defined as the ability to recover quickly from illness, change, or misfortune; buoyancy.
“Resilient people possess thee characteristics — a staunch acceptance of reality; a deep belief, often buttressed by strongly held values, that life is meaningful; and an uncanny ability to improvise.” - Diane Coutu
Here’s where going travel after divorce can make a big difference. Traveling alone after divorce can provide supportive conditions to process the past, and aided with perspective of distance to empower yourself.
How To Train A Resilience Muscle
Essence of Post-Divorce Travel Therapy.
When this structure being demolished we might feel internally as if we’re becoming homeless. When familiar comfort of finding support, nourishment and sharing that relationship had provided disappears we might feel like we lost our place.
It makes it harder to be reminded of this impending homelessness of the heart when we are physically planted in the same familiar environment replete with memories and attachments.
So it is better to go travel after divorce to be away from physical home and feel inner experience pointing out to necessity of becoming at home within yourself.
In other words it could be helpful be away and catch a break from the reminders of the sense of “ruins” of the home while taking on the task of rebuilding your inner sanctuary with self-love and acceptance.
Places To Travel After Divorce
The intent to go travel after divorce is to temporary move away from the epicenter of change in order to direct the flow of your creative energy back to what is important to you, to build, enhance and nurture a good relationship within yourself. And traveling, especially when you can do it alone, will provide you a space and time to do it successfully.
You will be stepping away from being imbedded as an actor on a stage, and instead to observe your life as an image, a picture or a map from a broad perspective.
You more likely will have an opportunity to spend time in silence to befriend yourself on a deeper level of self-acceptance. You can be a focus of your attention and care with spontaneity, fun, play and discovery.
Do Inner Work.
With a wider and more inclusive perspective on your whole life it is easier to see clearly and overcome post-divorce depression by stopping energy seepage into the past when:
Travel after divorce can provide you time and perspective for a deeper insight on what really meaningful and what you love to do in life.
It will give you a momentum to get excited about your life again; reinvent, clarify and energize your ideal life vision.
From a superficial point of view going travel after divorce might look like an escape from engaging your new life right away and showing your “true grit”.
It is ok if you can do that. Most people however experience some level of hurt and to overcome divorce pain need to be acquainted with themselves being alone.
Post-divorce travel can provide empowering conditions for it.